Well, I knew it would happen. Last semester I was loving life in Chile (not without my bad days, but for the most part loving it), but I figured that once I came back from my visit to the U.S. in December, I´d hit a low. And so I have. It´s part of culture shock that everyone goes through, and is magnified a little bit for me just because I´m so very close to my family. But either way, I´ve been feeling quite homesick lately. Not only that, but also kind of directionless... the thing is, I have really enjoyed my teaching job so far, but I know that´s not what I want to do for the rest of my life. The question is, what DO I want to do? I have no idea. I´m also not sure how long I want to be in Chile, although I still really do love the country and people. I´ve really been getting the itch lately to go back to school... my DREAM would be to return to UNC-Chapel Hill, the place where I spent the best 4 years of my life. Of course, it´s pretty hard to get in there, so I don´t know that grad school there could be a reality. Who knows.
Another thing that really made me miss home, and even miss high school (shocking, I know) happened the other day. A guy I´d had one class with in 9th grade (and hadn´t really seen since) messaged me on Facebook, saying, ¨Do I know you?¨ ... he quickly realized I´d been in that class with him, and we started talking. It was seriously great to talk to him, because I realized what a nice person he was. And this is something I had no idea of back in 9th grade. Because in 9th grade, I was incredibly shy. I´m still a pretty quiet person now, but I´ve come out of my shell a lot more. But back then when he was in my class, I was too scared to talk to him. For one, because I was shy, but also because he had this bad boy image that was completely the opposite of the people I hung out with. So basically, I judged him based on his appearance. Looking back, I kick myself for doing that. That´s someone I never want to be, someone who judges on appearances and consequently misses out on some really great friendships. And that´s exactly what happened back in 9th grade - I missed out on knowing a really great person because of my prejudices. Luckily, 11 years later, I have another chance to be his friend, and it´s great. Anyway, this whole episode has just made me miss high school, old friends, and home even more. I miss my parents, my brother and sis-in-law, my nephew, my Boston Terrier dog, North Carolina BBQ and people and weather... the list could go on. But here´s to hoping that I find direction soon!
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4 comments:
hear, hear! it sucks to miss people and not know where you`re headed. at least you´re not alone because i think a lot of us here have no idea what´s ahead. i think we all need a nice wine night to toast to our woes...maybe we´ll get over them then.
Man I totally understand...I have no idea what I am going to do with the rest of my life the only certain things are be with Ro forever, and hopefully have kids sometime....as far as work I honestly have no idea what I want to do. Going to college I think will be my next step as long as I can figure out what the heck I want to do. I can't wait til tonight.
I totally inderstand you. Before I left to come back for the holidays, I was missing everything to the point of making myself sick. Now, that I am back I am missing Chile.
It's difficult when you get to that point that you have two "homes".
I know I am going to be blogging about my culture shock when I go back and probably going through some very similar emotions.
I wish you luck in figuring out the best road to follow!
thanks for the comments you guys! it definitely does help to know that i´m not the only one! :)
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