Estadio Nacional: Maintain or Reconstruct?

This is a topic I´ve been marinating on for several days now (gotta love the word ¨marinate¨), ever since I walked past the Estadio Nacional last week with D and his brother. I´ve been there several times before, but this day was somewhat different. We went to drop off D´s sister at her atletismo class, and after doing so, decided to walk through the ¨farm¨right beside it. As we walked down the pathway, suddenly the Estadio loomed ahead, and I looked up to see this piece of architecture that was stained with dirt and grime, and so much history. "You know,¨D´s brother said to me, ¨this was the site of so many executions in 1973... it was like Chile´s holocaust.¨ As if I wasn´t chilled enough already by the cold air and fine mist that was falling, those words chilled me even more. I knew about what happened in 1973, of course, but somehow I´d forgotten that a lot of it took place at the Estadio. I don´t really believe in ghosts or anything like that, but I did get a bad feeling walking by the Estadio. It´s hard to even explain, really. I guess just knowing the weight of what took place there so many years ago made me reluctant to look at it for very long. It´s better inside, but outside it´s just ugly. I´m sorry, but it is. It´s old, it´s grimy and dirty, it´s stained. But the thing is, so much history is enveloped by that building that currently, no one is allowed to tear it down and start over.

So my question is: should we? I say "we", but I really mean Chile. I´m a gringa, and as such, I figure I don´t really have much right to say that it should or shouldn´t be torn down. Anyway, it must be noted that of the history of the Estadio Nacional, there is both good and bad. I think this quote by Augusto Gongora sums it up pretty well:

"It is impossible not to ponder the history of the National Stadium: it was a refuge for Europeans fleeing Nazism in the Second World War; it was a joyous site of celebration when Chile won third place in the 1962 World Cup; it was made into a camp for the imprisoned, tortured and executed in 1973; it received the simple kiss of reparation from Pope John Paul II on soil that knew too much sorrow; it danced the "cueca" alone on March 12, 1990 in the days of “the fair and good homeland,” when Aylwin assumed power; it vibrated with music and human rights during the Amnesty International concert at the beginning of this decade. The National Stadium has more history than meets the eye."

The other day when I was thinking about it, I tried to think about it from the perspective of the families of those murdered in the Estadio. Wouldn´t leaving it as is be a constant reminder for them of what happened? Why not just tear it down and rebuild a new stadium, assuming money is not an issue? But then I thought... if they rebuild on the same piece of land, is it really going to help alleviate the concerns of those family members? And actually.. even if they tore this stadium down and built a new one in a different location, the memories are still there. The memories will persist, always, no matter what buildings are razed or constructed. So in the end, what is the point? Is there one?

Chilean Men: Friendship

Alright, I´m going to give this group blogging a try, because I think it´s a pretty cool idea. As far as the first topic though, I´m kind of struggling... I guess I´ve known my fair share of Chilean guys (and am currently dating one), but I´m not sure which aspect to focus on for this blog. I have to admit that I cheated and read ahead, looking at the posts of some others who have already written on the topic. I found myself nodding at many points, and even saying aloud, "Yes, so true!¨ :) So as far as my own post, I wasn´t really sure which direction to take. But then I started thinking about things I´ve learned during the various months I´ve spent in Chile (about a total of 7.5 months over the past 2 years), and one of the big lessons I learned from my pololo and his friends was about friendship itself. I guess this post is mainly about Chilean men and their relationship with other guys than anything else :)

I suppose it´s a function of living in a city with such an extensive public transportation system (say what you will about Transantiago, but it beats the heck out of Raleigh, NC´s transportation system), but it seems that get-togethers are so much more frequent here than back where I´m from. Not only that, but it´s not uncommon to be at a party until 2, 3, 4 or later and decide just to sleep over (your options for transportation are pretty limited the later it gets). And nobody minds! Not only that, but my boyfriend and his friends borrow each other´s clothes, DVDs, money, everything. I know it´s not uncommon for girls to borrow each other´s clothes, but I honestly don´t know many guys in the U.S. who do that ;) And I happen to think it´s pretty cool, how there seems to be such an emphasis on sharing here. Maybe it goes along with the whole chivalry idea, but I see it even in guy-to-guy friendships, just the aspect of making sure everyone is taken care of. Sure, on the outside they may try to maintain that macho facade, calling each other weon every other sentence, etc etc. But the friendships I´ve seen between my boyfriend and his friends go a lot deeper than many I´ve seen in the U.S. They get together ALL the time, whether to share a beer, catch La U´s latest soccer game, or jugar Playstation (ha). And not only that, but they make an effort to be at each other´s events, big or small. For example, when my boyfriend had his final concert upon graduation from la U, all of his friends made sure to be there. Some even helped him with aspects of the concert, such as lights and a PowerPoint presentation. D is also in a band, as are several of his friends, and no matter how often they play, his friends come to just about every one. Last week, one of D´s friends had an event that his church was putting on, that lasted from 8pm until about 1am... D, his brother and I went (although we got there a bit late!), as he´d promised he would. That´s a big deal to me - friends who are ALWAYS there for each other, at big events in life or small.

This is something I took back with me when I went back home in March. I told myself I´d get together with friends more often, invite them over to cook, just watch a movie, anything. I mean, come on, I had a car! Sure, I may have lived 20 minutes from most of my friends, but I didn´t want to get lazy and not hang out with them just because I didn´t feel like driving a little bit. I also told myself I´d be more open as far as sharing material things. Did I succeed? Not to the extent I wanted to, but I definitely think I learned something about friendship here, and for that I´m pretty grateful.

Esperando

That´s pretty much the stage I find myself in right now. From something so small as waiting for D to get back from running an errand right now, to waiting on my interview (and finding a job in general), to waiting on finding an apartment. Sometimes I think my personality is a bit ironic, because I get so impatient when sitting in a traffic jam... yet I find I have patience for the bigger, more important things in life such as waiting on a job or an apartment. Either way, this is the period of my life right now. It´s been almost a week since I´ve arrived back in Santiago, so I´ve been through the whole excitement of seeing D´s family and friends I haven´t seen in awhile.. and most importantly D himself, who I hadn´t seen in 5 months! Talk about waiting! Anyway, I just really want some stability in my life - a job, a place to live that is my own space, and a routine. Don´t get me wrong, I like to have my routine interrupted a veces for an impromptu party or trip to the beach or what have you, but for the most part I like stability and structure. So, here´s to me finding a job soon! Oh, and thank you to Shannon and Ro for hosting me and D at their house! We had such a great time we´re already planning on doing it again this coming weekend. :)

I Made It

Just a short post to say I made it to Santiago this morning... didn´t get ANY sleep on the plane, which sucks.. so now I´m gonna try to catch a little nap while D goes to band rehearsal. I´d forgotten how much it sucks not to have central heating. Bah. Oh well, I´m here and that´s what counts - let me know if you want to hang out.

Blue Heaven

Some places just possess a certain magic that is impossible to adequately put into words. There are a few places like that on earth for me, and one of them is Chapel Hill. When I was a senior in high school, I only applied to one university - The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. I've been a Tar Heel fan for as long as I can remember, and I never really wanted to go anywhere else. My brother was a sophomore at UNC at the time, and that was one more reason for me to want to go there. So I applied for early admission, and thanks be to God, I got in. The next 4 years were the absolute BEST 4 years of my life. It's frustrating to even try to put into words my experience at Carolina, but the best way to describe it is this: Carolina is a family. That's why on the day I graduated, in May 2005, I cried my eyes out because I knew how much I'd miss that place. Sounds cheesy, sure... but it's true. Carolina simply is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

It's hard to beat the beauty of the Old Well in the springtime, with the azaleas blooming around it. Or cool, crisp fall days watching football at Kenan. Or getting up at 5:00 a.m. on a Saturday to stand out in the freezing January morning at the Dean Dome to score basketball tickets. Or laying out in the sunshine on the quad, just as warm days were arriving. During timeouts at basketball games, they used to show a commercial for Carolina that featured Charles Kuralt, former CBS journalist and UNC alum. It featured part of a speech Kuralt had given during the celebration of UNC's bicentennial, in 1993, and I always used to love this particular part:

"What is it that binds us to this place as to no other? It is not the well or the bell or the stone walls. Or the crisp October nights or the memory of dogwoods blooming. Our loyalty is not only to William Richardson Davie, though we are proud of what he did 200 years ago today. Nor even to Dean Smith, though we are proud of what he did last March. No, our love for this place is based on the fact that it is, as it was meant to be, the University of the people."

That, and this passage that Thomas Wolfe wrote for the UNC yearbook in 1920 captivate a little piece of what I feel about this place:

"But sometimes when the springtime comes,
And the sifting moonlight falls
They'll think again of this night here
And of these old brown walls,
Of white old well, and of old South
With bell's deep booming tone,
They'll think again of Chapel Hill and --
Thinking -- come back home."

I guess I'm getting all nostalgic since I'm leaving for Chile tomorrow, but I can't help it. I went back to Chapel Hill with my mom one day last week, and I had such a great time just walking around campus and looking at all the places I used to go. I also bought a children's book for my new nephew called "Hello, Rameses!"... there's a special story behind it for me. Rameses is the UNC mascot, and during the NCAA basketball tournament in 2007, one of the students who dresses up in the Rameses costume for all the games was hit by a car and killed. His name was Jason, and he was a wonderful guy, and it was a really sad time for UNC in general. Shortly after that happened, I was in the student bookstore at UNC and saw the book "Hello Rameses." It's a really cute kids' book, and each page features someone different seeing and saying hi to Rameses on campus. Well, the very last page is Rameses going to sleep at the end of the day and it says, "Goodnight, Rameses." I was standing in the middle of the student bookstore reading it, and when I got to that page, I froze. I felt tears stinging my eyes as I remembered what had happened to Jason, and that simple phrase, "Goodnight Rameses" seemed to so profoundly refer to him. After that, I always wanted to buy that book whenever I had a niece or nephew, and now I do. :)

Anyway, there is so much more I could write about Carolina and what it means to me, but for now I'll just leave you with a few pictures of campus. Which... apparently Blogger wants to add to the top of my post, so whatever. I'm too tired to figure out how to change that right now. ;)

Queda Poquisimo!!

Uuuuuuuuy quedan como 3 días y estoy tan emocionada! Y esta noche el Diego me dijo las palabras mágicas: "queda poco invierno"!

Wow, I can't believe I'm flying back to Santiago on Tuesday... it seems like just yesterday that it was April and I was thinking that this day would never come! But the time flew by (well, at some points), and here we are. I also can't believe I haven't written a blog entry in almost a month.. shame on me. But in my defense, I've been busy. Haven't we all, though? Anyway, here's something really cool: D's dad likes to paint, and several of his paintings are hanging in D's house... they're really abstract, but I like them. I'm absolutely in love with the colors in this one that he painted. But anyway, tonight D told me that his dad had painted one especially for me, to put in my apartment in Santiago (assuming I can find one!). I thought that was really, really sweet. Allow me to get cheesy for a moment and say that I feel incredibly blessed. I have a wonderful, supportive family here in the States (and a beautiful new nephew that I'm really sad to leave), and I also have a great Chilean family. D's parents really are pretty awesome. They NEVER let me sleep on the couch when I'm staying with them... even when I insist, "hey, seriously it's ok.. I'll be comfy on the couch", they still make me take one of their beds. :) Sweet, sweet people. So anyway, I'm really grateful for them because they always make me feel at home when I'm in Santiago.

I really want to write another entry about one of my favorite places on earth: Chapel Hill, North Carolina (aka "Blue Heaven"), but that's going to have to wait until tomorrow. For now, I think I'm going to try to sleep and not freak out about the fact that I haven't really packed yet.