Decisions, Decisions

So much crazy stuff has happened recently and unfortunately, I have to be vague about it on here. But let´s just say I have some very important decisions coming up... some very HARD decisions, that could change life drastically. I feel a huge knot in my stomach right now... more like butterflies actually, that I am utterly incapable of controlling. My thoughts are tumbling through my head at a million miles an hour. Pros and cons wage war against each other, and I´m left only with a confused, empty feeling. Strangely enough, though, throughout all of this, there is one thought that permeates everything: I love Chile, with every fiber of my being. Yes, some days I feel angry and frustrated, just wanting to leave and never come back. But those days are few in comparison with the days when I look around and know with conviction that a piece of my heart will always remain in Chile. That with each day that passes, my existence is woven more and more intricately with the strands of this country. I honestly thank God for the opportunity to spend even a small portion of my life here. More on that soon, when I have a chance to collect my thoughts a little more...

Good News!

Well, my week just got infinitely better. Yesterday, I found out that the Institute has approved my nearly 2-week vacation, meaning I´m leaving on December 20th to go home for Christmas!!! I mean, I would´ve gone anyway, but I feel better now knowing that I have ¨official¨ approval and all that... because the truth is, this is a fairly good-paying job for Chile, and I´m getting a visa through it and all that jazz. So I didn´t really wanna rock the boat, if you know what I mean.

The other piece of good news is that I checked the status of my visa online today, and it has been officially approved! So now I just wait for the 2nd letter telling me about this official approval, and then I have to take a bunch of papers to El Centro and all that, etc etc. But point being, my visa is approved! And not the temporary one either, the real deal. So right now, I´m feelin pretty good... I think I´ll start making a list of all the things I want to eat and all the places I want to go when I get home in December. :)

Stop Blushing!

Memo to my cheeks: it´s not necessary to get THAT red, really. Especially over the most random things. Seriously, let´s stop this now before it gets more out of control, ok? Thanks.

I´m not kidding, people. I don´t know what my deal has been lately, but I seem to blush at the stupidest things. And I´m talking resembling-a-tomato red. It´s quite embarrassing, really. Case in point: yesterday I was at the Institute, sitting in the cafeteria and basically just killing time before my next class. Up walks a fellow newbie teacher, of the southern U.S. male variety. Good-looking, yes, but I´m taken and that´s really beside the point anyway. So he sits down at my table, we´re talking about our classes, and he asks me about how the final oral exam is supposed to work. The conversation goes a little something like this, as best I remember:

Southern US Male: So what´s the deal with the Final Oral Exam, anyway?

Me: Well, I had to do that the other day, and we´re supposed to switch teachers for it. I actually got really lucky with mine.

SUSM: How so?

Me: The class I had to take over was ridiculously small, so I only had to give the oral for one dude.

Me: (realizing what I just said) That didn´t sound right, did it?

Me again: (starting to blush really hard) Crap. I didn´t mean it like that. I swear I don´t have a dirty mind.

SUSM: Bwahahahahaha, you bad girl, you. Man, you´re blushing really hard.

Me: I know. Crap. I don´t know what my deal is.


Note: I swear people, my mind really isn´t in the gutter. It´s not like that.

I´m Lazy

That´s just all there is to it. I´ve been thinking about why I haven´t written a post in like, a million years, and have been trying to convince myself that I´ve been too busy. You know, because I have SO many classes to teach right now (insert sarcastic eye-rolling here). But nope, it´s just that I´m lazy. That, and I´ve had no inspiration as of late. As much as I love Santiago (and I do), sometimes I feel like the city and the insufferable heat is sucking out my soul. I desperately need an escape to Viña or La Serena, or somewhere that isn´t Santiago. Luckily, I do get an escape to cold weather in about a month from now. I think that´ll do a lot of good for me. To see my family again, play with my little 5-month-old nephew, drink REAL coffee again, go to Barnes and Noble, etc etc. O sea, all the stuff I´ve been missing for the past 3 months. Anyway, I´ll write a more substantial post later, but I wanted to at least write SOMETHING for now, if for nothing else than to reassure myself that I can still put together a cogent thought. Although maybe the jury´s still out on that one, you tell me.

Group Post: Spanish, English or Spanglish?

I happened to see this on Emily´s blog, so it looks like this time around, Fned is organizing a group post. Rock on, I say. ;)

This is a very interesting topic to me, and one that I am involved with on a daily basis, as I communicate with D. When we first started hanging out (as friends) in July 2007, my Spanish was definitely iffy... especially my listening skills. He would call me up to see if I wanted to do something, and the conversation would usually go something like this:

D: Quieres hacer algo esta noche?
Me: Ummmmm... (pause while I try to translate what I want to say in my head)... sì. (Real complex response there, Jessica.)
D: Yapo, estoy en la casa ahora, dònde estàs tù?
Me: Estoy en el departamento.
D: Ok, te puedo buscar en como 20 minutos, te tinca?
Me: Como?? (thinking, what the heck does ¨te tinca¨mean?)
D: Te puedo buscar en tu departamento, ya?
Me: ...... Ok.
D: Nos vemos en un rato entonces.
Me: Como?
D: Nos .. vemos.. en .. un rato.
Me: Ahhhhhhh ok, sì, nos vemos!

... Good grief, thinking back on our cell phone conversations pains me. It was so hard for me to understand him! Things were easier in person, but still. And now? Over a year later, I am glad to say that my Spanish is much improved, especially my listening skills. I now understand basically 100% of what D says in Spanish, and what I don´t understand is a great learning opportunity for me. The vast majority of the time that we are together is spent speaking in Spanish. For me, this is great, because I´m still not quite fluent, but I feel like I´m on the road to being so. I do try to encourage D to speak to me in English sometimes, because he´s definitely not fluent and needs to practice much more. His main problem though is that he´s shy when it comes to speaking English, especially in front of his family (which I don´t quite understand, because he´s the one that knows the most English as far as his family goes). But the boy is SMART, and whenever he does speak in English, it´s almost always correct!

As far as Spanglish goes, we definitely speak our fair share of that, especially me. Sometimes I´ll start a sentence in Spanish and then switch to English if I get frustrated. I know that´s not good to do often though, if I want to be fluent! A big part of becoming fluent is struggling through those times when it would just be easier to switch to your native tongue. But let´s face it, sometimes Spanglish is just easier, and can definitely make for some funny situations. ;)

Election Dayyyyyy

Alright, my blog has always been pretty politics-free, and I´d like to keep it that way for the most part. In fact, I don´t think I´ve even mentioned if I´m for Obama or McCain. But in the spirit of election day, I might as well come out with it: I didn´t vote for either one. I think I may be the only expat in Chile on our little blog network here that didn´t vote for Obama, but I´m perfectly OK with that. The truth is, I grew up in a very politically conservative, Christian family (and when I say Christian, I do mean Christian... my parents were and are good Christ-like examples for me). Growing up, I always adopted the stances of my parents, as children are wont to do. When I got to Carolina, a pretty liberal university, some of my views on things changed a bit. I am also a Christian (although I definitely mess up a lot), and that has influenced me politically as well. I won´t go into my stance on all of the issues, but one of the issues I have always been and will always be extremely passionate about is that of abortion. I am very much against abortion, and that, along with a few other issues, made me not vote for Obama. As far as McCain, I´m a bit fearful of him continuing on the road paved by Bush. I really wish there was a 3rd party candidate with a fighting chance, but so goes politics in the U.S. Anyway, feel free to comment if you´d like. Happy Election Day everybody!