Alright, I´m going to give this group blogging a try, because I think it´s a pretty cool idea. As far as the first topic though, I´m kind of struggling... I guess I´ve known my fair share of Chilean guys (and am currently dating one), but I´m not sure which aspect to focus on for this blog. I have to admit that I cheated and read ahead, looking at the posts of some others who have already written on the topic. I found myself nodding at many points, and even saying aloud, "Yes, so true!¨ :) So as far as my own post, I wasn´t really sure which direction to take. But then I started thinking about things I´ve learned during the various months I´ve spent in Chile (about a total of 7.5 months over the past 2 years), and one of the big lessons I learned from my pololo and his friends was about friendship itself. I guess this post is mainly about Chilean men and their relationship with other guys than anything else :)
I suppose it´s a function of living in a city with such an extensive public transportation system (say what you will about Transantiago, but it beats the heck out of Raleigh, NC´s transportation system), but it seems that get-togethers are so much more frequent here than back where I´m from. Not only that, but it´s not uncommon to be at a party until 2, 3, 4 or later and decide just to sleep over (your options for transportation are pretty limited the later it gets). And nobody minds! Not only that, but my boyfriend and his friends borrow each other´s clothes, DVDs, money, everything. I know it´s not uncommon for girls to borrow each other´s clothes, but I honestly don´t know many guys in the U.S. who do that ;) And I happen to think it´s pretty cool, how there seems to be such an emphasis on sharing here. Maybe it goes along with the whole chivalry idea, but I see it even in guy-to-guy friendships, just the aspect of making sure everyone is taken care of. Sure, on the outside they may try to maintain that macho facade, calling each other weon every other sentence, etc etc. But the friendships I´ve seen between my boyfriend and his friends go a lot deeper than many I´ve seen in the U.S. They get together ALL the time, whether to share a beer, catch La U´s latest soccer game, or jugar Playstation (ha). And not only that, but they make an effort to be at each other´s events, big or small. For example, when my boyfriend had his final concert upon graduation from la U, all of his friends made sure to be there. Some even helped him with aspects of the concert, such as lights and a PowerPoint presentation. D is also in a band, as are several of his friends, and no matter how often they play, his friends come to just about every one. Last week, one of D´s friends had an event that his church was putting on, that lasted from 8pm until about 1am... D, his brother and I went (although we got there a bit late!), as he´d promised he would. That´s a big deal to me - friends who are ALWAYS there for each other, at big events in life or small.
This is something I took back with me when I went back home in March. I told myself I´d get together with friends more often, invite them over to cook, just watch a movie, anything. I mean, come on, I had a car! Sure, I may have lived 20 minutes from most of my friends, but I didn´t want to get lazy and not hang out with them just because I didn´t feel like driving a little bit. I also told myself I´d be more open as far as sharing material things. Did I succeed? Not to the extent I wanted to, but I definitely think I learned something about friendship here, and for that I´m pretty grateful.
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4 comments:
Your boyfriend's friends are way better than my boyfriend's friends!! Most of his are selfish and would never borrow anything to the other. Especially money!! They are really close though in the fact that they always hang out and always party together. And missing a birthday or something is a BIG deal!!
the whole sharing issue is my biggest struggle in chile. its a really admirable thing in my mind, but it has been an extreme problem when it involves me because as much as i try to fit in, i'm not in the same situation as chileans. sometimes i feel uncomfortable or taken advantage of with the sharing (with further explanation may be more clear and keeping in mind the general attitude seems to be "those who have more should give more" yet as a foreigner im 100 percent of the time perceived to "have more.") i've been planning to write about it for a long time, but i ahve trouble narrowing down my analysis. i'll get at it this week.
but yes, i find it quite interesting as well that my boyfriend swaps everything from appliances to possessions to pants on a regular basis. When we go to his friends house I always spot something of his in the laundry or on a shelf.
as far as getting together all the time, i would say that seems to vary completely. in a couple places i lived i remember thinking how rarely people got together, just the weekends, compared to my friends from the US. but now i find it to be the opposite, not because of my adapted perception as much as new surroundings. i think it also depends a lot on if they live with their family (and how the fam is), and whether they are studying or have a job too.
who knows... things to ponder.
My husband and his friends used to get together all the time when they were still in school, but now that they've graduated the juntas are much less frequent. To me it seems pretty similar as the U.S. -- you just have so much more time while you're still in college -- once you start a "real" job, social life goes down the drain!
The closeness of friends and how they make major efforts to go to all the big events is definitely true. Just a question -- are these your husband's friends from high school? Because my husband is like you described with his colegio friends most of whom he has known since he was in kindergarten. But he's not like that with his friends from la u. In the U.S. I think we miss out on that closeness with our grade school friends because the majority of us go away for college and we start the making friends process all over. Here most people go to grade school, high school and college in Santiago so staying close is a lot easier.
Good post, sure got me talking! Sorry for the long comment :)
Ahh man. Well if you are coming just call the house phone my cell phone is MIA...i havent seen it since like thursday!! Hahah! We are still having a parrrty, we have decided that it is a combined bachelor bachelorette thing! I have decided that I am celebrating the bank giving my money back after only a half an hour on the phone!!! And a little bit of yelling!! If we dont see you tonight, maybe next weekend?? Talk to you later!
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