Group Post: Why I Came to Chile and Why I Left

Well, I haven't posted in what, over 3 weeks now? There's a good reason for that, though, which I'll get to at the end of this post. To start off with, to talk about my reason for coming to Chile originally, you have to rewind back to the summer of 2005, after I graduated from Carolina. In May 2005, I thought I had everything figured out (HA!) - I had been accepted to law school at U of Richmond, to start in the fall, and had even gone so far as to score an apartment with 2 other girls at UR Law. I would graduate from Carolina, go to law school, and that was that. Little did I know, things were about to change drastically. I was given the opportunity to spend that summer in Salamanca, Spain, and little time to decide. The decision wasn't too hard, and I decided to do it. I wasn't studying abroad, however. I spent the summer of 2005 interning at a college ministry called En Vivo at the University of Salamanca, and I absolutely loved it. I'd studied Spanish for 3 years in high school, had taken some in college, and had been in love with the language for awhile. Well, I fell in love with Spain. When summer ended and the time came to leave, I cried and cried. And cried again on the plane. And started thinking very seriously about not going to law school, and trying to become a team member with the college ministry instead. This would've taken me back to Spain for at least 2-3 years, maybe longer.

When I got off the plane at RDU, where my family was waiting for me, my mom knew something was bothering me (she can always tell!). Long story short, I ended up telling my family that I didn't want to go to law school, and that I instead wanted to return to Spain. Fast forward a little bit - the organization with which I went to Spain also has college ministries at universities in Santiago, Chile; Tubingen, Germany; Birmingham, England; Puebla, Mexico and Bangkok, Thailand. There was no question in my mind, however, that I wanted to go back to Salamanca. Chile didn't interest me whatsoever. But when it came down to it, the place I was most needed was none other than Santiago, Chile. At first I was disappointed about not being able to go back to Spain, but I quickly began to get excited about the prospect of Chile, and began to read and research more. I first went to Santiago in August 2006, to visit. It was rainy and cold for most of the time that I was there, and to be honest, I didn't really like it that much. I moved to Chile in June of 2007, thinking I'd be there for 2 years. Things didn't go as planned for various reasons (differences with team members), and so I returned to the U.S. in October of 2007. In that time, however, I'd started dating a Chilean (Diego).

Naturally, the whole long-distance relationship idea didn't appeal to me, so I planned to move back to Chile to be with him. He basically was what drew me back to the country. I kind of went back and forth for awhile, and though I can't quite pinpoint the hour and moment that I fell in love with Chile (much like it's virtually impossible to pinpoint the exact moment you fall in love with a person), it happened sometime during the Chilean summer of 2008 (sometime during January to March, which I spent there). Unfortunately, neither D nor I were optimistic about job prospects for me in Santiago, and felt I'd be better off in the U.S. So back I went. I worked my butt off from March to August 2008, and was hoping D could come to the U.S., but it never worked out. At this point, I was seriously missing him and Chile. So I decided to move permanently to Chile in August 2008, and teach English. Luckily, I found a job and started in September, and things were great for quite awhile. I really do love Chile with all my heart, and loved living there (yes, I said "loved" in past tense). The truth is that I recently left Chile.

For many reasons, I broke up with D in February. And I'd thought I was strong enough to make it in Chile without him - actually I think I was, and am. But the decision to come back to the U.S. was influenced by many things - my family being here (especially watching my nephew grow up), an ever-growing desire to go to grad school (I'm now thinking of getting a Masters in Spanish), and an amazing guy who's really showing me what it means to love someone. Yes, that last part might seem crazy, as I'm recently out of a relationship with D, but it's a crazy story that deserves a post all its own. In a nutshell: I had one class with this guy in 9th grade (had a secret crush on him then), never saw him again, and recently reconnected with him after ELEVEN years through the wonders of Facebook. Anyway, kudos to anyone who's actually read through this entire long post, but I had to finally come back from my blogging hiatus and tell everyone that I'm no longer in Chile. Someday soon I'm going to write a post on why I love Chile (although words can't do it justice). But for now, just know that I made the right decision to come back to the U.S. Not saying I'll never live in Chile again, but now is not the right time.

Oh, and the truth is that I haven't blogged for this long because I couldn't bring myself to. I actually stayed away from reading the other Chile bloggers' posts because it was too hard. I really miss Chile right now, so I thought it'd be easier this way, but after this post I'm thinking that writing about what I'm feeling is better for me. Oh yes, and... I'm getting a Chile-related tattoo soon. ;)