The Grass is Always Greener...

on the other freaking side, isn't it? I honest-to-God feel like I have so many things going through my head right now that it's ridiculous. Here I am now with almost 2 months' perspective on leaving Chile... so what do I think? Did I make the right decision by breaking up with D? Did I make the right decision in leaving Chile? On the first count, I'd have to say yes. Diego and I aren't right for each other, at least not at this point in time, and God knows the last thing I need right now is a relationship (more on that later). As far as the second question, I'm not so sure. I, like many other people in this world, hate to have regrets. But sometimes it just happens. And now that a little bit of time has passed, and I have more perspective on the situation, I'm questioning my decision to leave Chile. Here's the thing: part of what's making me question it is that my new pololo and I... well... we're not exactly pololos right now, let's just say that. It's a complicated situation, and I don't know what's going to happen. But I do know that I miss Chile like crazy. I guess that's only natural, as is questioning such a huge decision. But honestly, I've felt depressed lately. And it seems that people are noticing, because last weekend I went home to spend Easter with my parents, and on Sunday they sat me down and asked if we could talk. Jeez, that's never good. Anyway, they basically said that they were worried about me, and that I just seemed different lately. One thing they were particularly worried about was that I had started a new relationship so soon after breaking up with D. They did (and do) have a point, but the new relationship just kind of happened, and I just kind of went with the flow. But their point was that I didn't exactly give myself time to recover from the end of such a serious, and at times very hurtful, relationship.

They're right, they're right, my parents are right. Seems to happen a lot. I guess I just feel kind of lost right now. Finding a job hasn't been so easy. I miss Chile so much it hurts sometimes. I miss talking to and hanging out with D (though not the relationship). My parents are worried about me. I feel really depressed sometimes. I'm not entirely sure if grad school for Spanish is what I should go after.

But on the bright side, I'm in the one place in North Carolina that I could actually conceive of living in right now, and I do love it. I have the beach, a beautiful town in general to live in, a great downtown area, etc. And I've found something REALLY cool that I enjoy doing, which is playing guitar and singing at Open Mic night on Mondays at this place downtown. I think that's been my saving grace lately. It's not the biggest deal in the world maybe, but to me it is. Because I LOVE playing guitar and singing. And it's giving me something to work toward each week, having to learn and practice new songs. Anyway, I don't even really know where I'm going with this post, but I guess the point is that I do wonder if I made the right decision in leaving Chile. It's part of me now. And I really miss the group of gringas I made friends with down there (you know who you are!) - wine nights up here just aren't the same. :(

TAR HEELS: 2009 NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh jeez, where to freaking start.. so I realize not everyone is as big of a college basketball fan as I am, but hopefully everyone at least knew that the national championship game was tonight (well, technically last night since it's now 3:40 in the morning), pitting Michigan St. against the Carolina Tar Heels (my alma mater). I made the drive this afternoon from Wilmington to Chapel Hill to watch the game in the Dean Dome with thousands of other screaming Tar Heel fans, and I'm SO glad I did. I lost my voice. I yelled. I screamed. I yelled some more. I jumped around when they played "Jump Around" at the beginning of the game. I jumped up and down and screamed and laughed in sheer freaking joy as the remaining seconds ticked off the clock, and my Tar Heels were officially announced as the 2009 NATIONAL CHAMPIONS. Then I yelled some more. And I sang the alma mater with my friends. And watched my Heels being awarded the championship trophy. And watched "One Shining Moment", which always brings tears to my eyes. I watched as Tyler Hansbrough, one of the most amazing players ever to play at Carolina, hugged Coach Roy Williams. And then...

I went out to Franklin St. and JUMPED OVER A BONFIRE. That's right, I did. And I'd do it again. Franklin Street is where we Tar Heels go to celebrate after beating dook (Duke) or winning a national championship. We set fires.... climb trees and light poles... occasionally flip over cars. You know, the standard fare. Jeez, was it a blast. So all I have to say is...

TAR HEELS, NATIONAL CHAMPS BABY!!!!! And this makes FIVE for us now - 1957, 1982, 1993, 2005 (my senior year!!!), and now 2009!!!! :) Can you tell I'm just a little bit happy??